I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize