My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
