Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
