Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
