Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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