where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
