I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
