A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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