yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
