ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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