How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
