I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
