get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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