remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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