so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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