Non-Jews are for practice
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
