we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
