Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
