like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize