Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
