I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize