what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
