Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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