i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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