Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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