Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
