absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
