I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
What drink are we having for lunch?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
