Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
