my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
