drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i now understand why vodka
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
