i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
How's work?
Spinning.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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