ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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