who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
