So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
