You really coming over, don't trick.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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