it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
