yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
