Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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