I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
