will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
