Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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