You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize