U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
