Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
