I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize