Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
