how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
