Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
