Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
