The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
