you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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