Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
