dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
