Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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