I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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