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• (805): View more from California

  NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??

  (805): View more from California

  He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You should probably go find him.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.

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• (716): View more from New York

  My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  my bad i broke a mirror over your back

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